Update:
Rex got a cell phone, number shown below. It has a speaker and he can hear well. And he's rented a 1-bedroom apartment, moving January 10.
First things first. Rex's new address & phone are:
1014 Parkside Village Drive
Clayton, NC 27520
919-604-9726
It's been an interesting 2 days. Over half the homes in Allen County were without electrical power after Friday's ice storm. My house, Tandy's apartment and Rex's apartment (along with Jeff's which was empty and available) all were without power. I/Tandy/Parker/Rex spent Friday nite at Comfort Suites. We're thankful we got a room. Saturday morning, Randy and Ryan and Stacy arrived to pack the truck and get the car on the trailer. It was slick and cold (no heat in the apartment), but we were done by noon.
Rex had mentioned that the one thing he wanted to do yet was get to the cemetery. So we took a short road trip yesterday. It was a bleak site with the ice and snow. One I don't want stuck in my memory.
Greg was supposed to arrive around 11 last nite, but he missed his connection in Atlanta. He spent the nite there and flew in at 11:15 this morning in high winds. It's below 0 and blowing BAD today. We're all concerned about keeping our newly restored electrical power. I just talked to Greg. They are about 1/2 way home and not planning to stop (6:30pm). They have another 6 hours, at least. It was 71 degrees when Greg left home yesterday!!!!
I overhead Rex say last weekend....this is no longer my home, it is just a place to live. And I think he decided after 2 days of MAJOR winter, that leaving Indiana isn't such a bad idea.
Greg shared with Rex and I that his 8 year old daughter, Jillian, agreed to let dad go on the road once again after just getting home from a week away on business, because he was bringing Grandpa "home". I really think the last 3 weeks convinced Rex he was making the right decision. And my brothers and I got to know a man that is a lot stronger than we knew before. We are extremely proud of him.
And I am very proud of the 3 of us. Mom left us with a job to complete and we finished well. Greg and I felt the weight of the transition shift as we hugged goodbye today. No more words.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Some final information from us
We will never find out for sure what happened. The pathologist 'speculated' that she had an infection called sepsis, which used to be called blood poisoning, and was possibly caused by her colon problems. Mom's Dr. had another guess, but I don't feel it was a very likely cause.
It was her time, not our time. We weren't ready. She was. It certainly helps us to know she was ready. I don't understand how someone could get through the death of their mother without knowing she's going to heaven and will see her someday. I wouldn't want to feel that way.
I'm very tired now after a long day at Ronna's with Randy's family and Rex. It may have been our final Christmas together with Rex as he is soon moving south. We honored our mother by forgetting all of our problems, and coming together as a family. We sang Christmas songs, more than we've ever sang together before. Tisha was with us by webcam, so the whole 'Ritenour' family was together thanks to technology. Tisha had the white Christmas for the day, which is unusual there in Oregon. It was 50 degrees for us.
We combined some traditions by having apple dumplings and watching the TV show, Lost In Space. We had a great amount of fun playing dirty bingo, although it wasn't very 'dirty.'
This was a really fun Christmas together. We talked about Mom but did not dwell on her. It would have been a sad event if we had focused on her. That was not what we wanted. There is nothing good that could have come from that.
Mom, have a merry Christmas in heaven. I miss you so much.
Ryan
And some final thoughts from me. We are beginning to look ahead and not back. It was a great day...one a month ago I never would have dreamed could happen. We each stepped forward to plan something special for the day.
I have felt traumatized this past week, but today I turned a corner. Together we will move forward. I feel closer to my brothers and my sisters (still the outlaws) than I EVER have before. And I give God all the praise and glory for that.
I think it's time to close this blog. It has served the purpose it was set up for and been a therapeutic way for Ryan and I to deal with the past 3 weeks.
GOD MADE A WAY.
Ronna
It was her time, not our time. We weren't ready. She was. It certainly helps us to know she was ready. I don't understand how someone could get through the death of their mother without knowing she's going to heaven and will see her someday. I wouldn't want to feel that way.
I'm very tired now after a long day at Ronna's with Randy's family and Rex. It may have been our final Christmas together with Rex as he is soon moving south. We honored our mother by forgetting all of our problems, and coming together as a family. We sang Christmas songs, more than we've ever sang together before. Tisha was with us by webcam, so the whole 'Ritenour' family was together thanks to technology. Tisha had the white Christmas for the day, which is unusual there in Oregon. It was 50 degrees for us.
We combined some traditions by having apple dumplings and watching the TV show, Lost In Space. We had a great amount of fun playing dirty bingo, although it wasn't very 'dirty.'
This was a really fun Christmas together. We talked about Mom but did not dwell on her. It would have been a sad event if we had focused on her. That was not what we wanted. There is nothing good that could have come from that.
Mom, have a merry Christmas in heaven. I miss you so much.
Ryan
And some final thoughts from me. We are beginning to look ahead and not back. It was a great day...one a month ago I never would have dreamed could happen. We each stepped forward to plan something special for the day.
I have felt traumatized this past week, but today I turned a corner. Together we will move forward. I feel closer to my brothers and my sisters (still the outlaws) than I EVER have before. And I give God all the praise and glory for that.
I think it's time to close this blog. It has served the purpose it was set up for and been a therapeutic way for Ryan and I to deal with the past 3 weeks.
GOD MADE A WAY.
Ronna
Friday, December 12, 2008
The days ahead
On Sunday, we 3 "kids" and our families and Rex are gathering at my house for an early Christmas. This will be Rex's goodbye to Randy & Ryan. Anita is carrying on mom's tradition of Dirty Bingo for the grandkids. And we will sing carols by candlelight. Ryan is working on a webcam so Tisha can join us for that from Oregon. We are all very much looking forward to the day.
Plans are for Greg to fly to Ft. Wayne on the 19th or 20th, pack up a small U-Haul, put Rex's car on a trailer and they make the trek to NC on the 20th/21st. We sort & pack something everyday. Both Rex and I are amazed at how much stuff there is, even though they moved just 18 months ago after a major downsizing. I'm VERY proud of Rex. He is facing the challenge of each day. Rex is on a waiting list at a senior apartment community in NC. In the meantime, he will live with Greg & Stacy. Right now, he appears to be healthy. I pray everyday for continued good health for him, for God's healing.
Plans are for Greg to fly to Ft. Wayne on the 19th or 20th, pack up a small U-Haul, put Rex's car on a trailer and they make the trek to NC on the 20th/21st. We sort & pack something everyday. Both Rex and I are amazed at how much stuff there is, even though they moved just 18 months ago after a major downsizing. I'm VERY proud of Rex. He is facing the challenge of each day. Rex is on a waiting list at a senior apartment community in NC. In the meantime, he will live with Greg & Stacy. Right now, he appears to be healthy. I pray everyday for continued good health for him, for God's healing.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Another opinion
An independent pathologist that has performed over 800 autopsies has volunteered to look at the autopsy and see if he can shed any light on the situation.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
more
I don't have the autopsy in hand yet, but it was inconclusive. We will never know for sure what happened. It makes it harder for me to deal with this all, but I'll get over it. I am sure that her labored breathing, when I left her the night before, was something to do with it. I was beating myself up about it, that I didn't do more to make the nurses get the Dr., or something. I have gotten past that.
We know this:
The floor Doctor was notified about her condition sometime Wed. evening.
When she was checked on in her room at 4:45 a.m., she was already gone. They started CPR but she never regained a pulse.
She was not as mentally stable as we had expected those days after surgery. The Doctors expressed that she was doing good, but they didn't know her like we did.
Memorials still continue to come in. It will be interesting to see the total.
Her surgery was not directly the cause of her death, but it was hard on her body, and the time in the hospital lying down all the time did not help her.
We know this:
The floor Doctor was notified about her condition sometime Wed. evening.
When she was checked on in her room at 4:45 a.m., she was already gone. They started CPR but she never regained a pulse.
She was not as mentally stable as we had expected those days after surgery. The Doctors expressed that she was doing good, but they didn't know her like we did.
Memorials still continue to come in. It will be interesting to see the total.
Her surgery was not directly the cause of her death, but it was hard on her body, and the time in the hospital lying down all the time did not help her.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Update on the autopsy
I called Lutheran pathology today to give me an estimate on when we can expect the autopsy report. They informed me that it was already done and was sent to the surgeon. Ronna has contacted Mom's internist to get the results to her. Again, I'll post the cause of death once we know.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Time, Reality, Discomfort and Prayer
Just looked back to what we were doing 3 weeks ago. That's the day we posted the pic of Mom & Ryan signing I Love You. It seems like SUCH a long time ago. In fact, none of that even seems real anymore. Rex made the comment last nite....it just does not feel like it really happened.
Randy/Anita/I majorly packed at the apartment today. As we left, I felt overwhelmed about what we had just done. Sorting through years of memories, sending out bags of trash & boxes to Goodwill, doling out mementos to family. Took years to accumulate and a couple of hours to disburse.
We spent some quality time with Uncle Leon/Aunt Phyl today. They have ALWAYS been there for our family...ALWAYS.
I am wearing mom's wedding band, the one my dad gave her. It fits me perfectly.
Rex is living amongst boxes and vanishing furniture. Can't be comfortable.
Join me in praying for a complete healing for Rex. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.
But I'm a human, and He is God.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well. James 5:15
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16b
If you are reading, please comment. We need encouragement.
Randy/Anita/I majorly packed at the apartment today. As we left, I felt overwhelmed about what we had just done. Sorting through years of memories, sending out bags of trash & boxes to Goodwill, doling out mementos to family. Took years to accumulate and a couple of hours to disburse.
We spent some quality time with Uncle Leon/Aunt Phyl today. They have ALWAYS been there for our family...ALWAYS.
I am wearing mom's wedding band, the one my dad gave her. It fits me perfectly.
Rex is living amongst boxes and vanishing furniture. Can't be comfortable.
Join me in praying for a complete healing for Rex. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.
But I'm a human, and He is God.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well. James 5:15
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16b
If you are reading, please comment. We need encouragement.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Moments burnt into my memory
Many hands closing the casket.
The Chapel parish nurse saying “press into Jesus”.
Merlinda’s final run of the keyboard at Mom’s service.
Three generations of family circled up, holding hands, and being challenged about their own faith and to pray for those not yet walking with our Lord.
Uncle Leon and Aunt Phyl immediately at Rex and my sides early Thursday morning.
Aunt Dorothy and her spirit-filled caretaker walking into Mom’s hospital room to visit.
Seeing tears in the eyes of the rehab hospital liaison that I had just interviewed with 3 days before.
Randy’s offer to carry Mom’s casket to her grave.
The faith conversation Tisha and I had on Saturday night.
Stacy and Dylan remaining at Mom’s bedside on Wednesday night while Ryan talked to me on the phone.
Randy telling me that Sara had come with them to the visitation.
Hobbs and Ritenour unity in decisions, plans, purpose and spirit.
Mom spreading out her hands in front of Roberta showing off her nail polish the day after surgery.
Seeing John & Mary Whitcraft the day of Mom’s surgery, there for another person’s surgery.
Ryan’s blog title Thursday morning of “God Has Made A Way!”, with him not even realizing Mom had named her own blog “God Will Make A Way” several weeks earlier.
The Chapel parish nurse saying “press into Jesus”.
Merlinda’s final run of the keyboard at Mom’s service.
Three generations of family circled up, holding hands, and being challenged about their own faith and to pray for those not yet walking with our Lord.
Uncle Leon and Aunt Phyl immediately at Rex and my sides early Thursday morning.
Aunt Dorothy and her spirit-filled caretaker walking into Mom’s hospital room to visit.
Seeing tears in the eyes of the rehab hospital liaison that I had just interviewed with 3 days before.
Randy’s offer to carry Mom’s casket to her grave.
The faith conversation Tisha and I had on Saturday night.
Stacy and Dylan remaining at Mom’s bedside on Wednesday night while Ryan talked to me on the phone.
Randy telling me that Sara had come with them to the visitation.
Hobbs and Ritenour unity in decisions, plans, purpose and spirit.
Mom spreading out her hands in front of Roberta showing off her nail polish the day after surgery.
Seeing John & Mary Whitcraft the day of Mom’s surgery, there for another person’s surgery.
Ryan’s blog title Thursday morning of “God Has Made A Way!”, with him not even realizing Mom had named her own blog “God Will Make A Way” several weeks earlier.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Rex is back in Indiana
If you are a Hoosier, come visit Rex in the next few weeks or invite him over. He got back tonite. He'll be moving to NC later this month. He's already given a lot of thought to what he needs to take with him and what will be given to others.
He wanted me to have Mom's bible that I gave her 11 years ago. I'll treasure that. Ryan, you questioned the funeral bulletin that said Mom read Psalm 91 to Anthony when he had cancer. I don't know that she read it TO him, but she prayed it FOR him and it's written in this Bible. We always called it Psalm 9-1-1 because it's a good one to go to when you need help.
He wanted me to have Mom's bible that I gave her 11 years ago. I'll treasure that. Ryan, you questioned the funeral bulletin that said Mom read Psalm 91 to Anthony when he had cancer. I don't know that she read it TO him, but she prayed it FOR him and it's written in this Bible. We always called it Psalm 9-1-1 because it's a good one to go to when you need help.
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