It's hard to write tonite. The nursing staff has been using the words "ICU psychosis" this week and Ryan and I have been researching tonite, and we think Mom is probably experiencing this. The lack of sleep from having neuro checks every couple of hours, the constant noises (auto blood pressure cuff, air bed, beeps), constant lighting, away from familiar surroundings and family, so many strangers.....she is moving back and forth between reality and what is not reality. She was very fixated all day on going home. Asked Rex and I to take her home, she was packing things into her card box, trying to get out of bed. She is constantly picking at her finger monitor and now starting to pick at her staples. She was talking a lot and louder than she has been.

When Tandy stopped by, she knew who she was, she asked about Parker, said he was almost 5 years old, told Tandy to tell him Nanny said hi. I was so impressed. But from 6:45 to when I left at 9, she was a mess.

I'm also concerned about where she is going when it is time to leave the ICU, which will be as soon as she is off the IV blood pressure med I was contacted by Social Services today and evaluations of her readiness for rehab are beginning.

She is having the IVC screen put in tomorrow at noon.

Rex had a PET scan today. We'll hear the results of this test on Friday, the results determining the next step in his treatment. He has a follow up appointment with his surgeon tomorrow, and has chosen to go alone. Today, after his test, he and Tommy Hobdy went out for brunch/lunch and then he went to the library. I know it is very hard for him to see Mom as we did tonite.

I'm looking for someone to cut mom's hair. Any ideas?????

I cried when I read Ryan's post about what he wants to learn from how Mom has faced this experience. The Bible says God will take bad and make good from it; I heard something like that in a Veggie Tales movie anyway. Really, I HAVE to find purpose in this suffering. James 1:3 The testing of my faith develops perseverance. I'm gonna have some major perseverance before too much longer!!!! I also KNOW God is encamped around our family (our 2 families that are 1), but I wish I could SEE Him, a wall of fire encircling us all...protection. I'm seeing it in my mind.

Sleep, Mom, and may tomorrow be a better day.

Mon. update

Ronna will probably have more later. She said Mom was a little better today. However after a nap, she was really confused when she awoke. I suppose we may see this for a while. Her best times always have been noon to 5.

We have pics with her hat off but she would not want me to post those so if you want to see what she looks like, you'll have to go see her. :)

Something to think about

First, Mom was standing today with the therapist. Talk is already starting about discharge. Please pray that it works out so that she can just move right across the street to the rehab hospital when that time comes.

I was just perusing some previous postings of Mom's and came across something she posted on Jeff Bowman's blog:

Peace I leave with you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Mom lives this daily. I went with her into the hospital last Wednesday. I felt I had to. I was worried that I'd never be able to talk to her again, at least the way she was at that time. I know what its like to have a loved one wake up and be a completely different person.

Mom was not scared, or at least she didn't show it. Her conviction is what I hope for in the future. It's easy to say things, but not easy to live them. She lives them, everyday. Ronna and I talked about how we used to see our mom as a wimp, but now we see she's just the opposite.

I miss you Mom, and I can't wait until you're back with us like you were before, and maybe even better.

Morning news

Mom slept good finally. 1:00 to 7:30 a.m. which is very good for her. They did have to use medication to get her to sleep though.

Her 'hat' is off and she likes to play with her staples. It will be interesting to see how she looks now.

They will be installing an IVC filter so that she's not at risk of a blood clot moving from her legs to her lungs. This is common on those that aren't yet moving much. It's installed through an artery so I don't think she will be put out for this procedure. I would think it's done in the ICU room.